Thursday, July 31, 2008

Transgender Murder, Safety and Dating

I really hate saying this, but it needs to be said...

There are many young transgender women who are not careful about dating guys. They think that because they are young, pretty and passable they are free to date as they wish. The truth of the matter is, we have to be concerned with our safety the same as any other woman and even more. Even genetic women have to be concerned with being raped, assaulted and becoming victims of domestic violence.

As a transgender woman things can become even more riskier, especially if we are pre or non-op. If we are found out men can get very upset, angry and often very violent. No man likes being lied to, but even worse the "thought" they have had sex with a person of the "same sex" and committed a "homosexual act" can drive them to become very angry and often resulting in brutal assault and even murder. Such is the case in the murder of Angie Zapata.

All the hate crimes legislation in the world will do little to help us in this type of situation. I feel that many transgender murders could be prevented if only they had been upfront about their gender and screened their dates a little bit better. Does this justify these gruesome murders, positively not, but it is a very sad reality that may very well have been prevented with a bit more caution and honesty.

As a transexual woman I get many requests for dates. Many of these hits are online and through social networking sites such as myspace and facebook. Even though my profiles are as transgender oriented, I get many hits from very straight men. My very first reply to any person who hits on me is "I am a male to female transexual woman and give a brief description of myself. This way no one can say I lied to them or deceived them about my gender. Usually the response back is a quick no thank you or no response at all.

As much as we all like to go "stealth", I feel it is very important to be upfront about our transgender status. We need to be just as cautious as any other genetic woman and even more. Lastly, we need to screen our dates and know who we are dating.


Queers United said...

its unfortunate that trans people need to be upfront about it but for safety i think you are right

Shauna Baggtt said...

And then you have trans women like myself who date women, we too have to let them know.


blah said...

You really have to be careful. Some people just can't accept others are not like them. I've had women after me for telling men i was TG and attempting to tell me I'm advertising to men I'm a transsexual.
Honestly, i didnt want to have sex with the men they felt I was exposing myself to...but if i go to the female bathroom, they'll call the police.
IMHO thats what happened to one transgirl...women got mad she took their men , and got her murdered.

They really carried the situation too far, saying i am getting paid to have sex with men in public restrooms.
You have alot of hard up women out here. If some people didnt have such a venomous attitude...perhaps they could get a date with the men they believe im stealing from them.
One transwoman got assualted in mcdonalds over the same cause, women mad she took the affections of their men...and I imagine as in my case...i just was peeing.
Treat your men good, and you wouldnt have this problem...bitch!

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