Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Coming Out and Changing Identities

Last week I started the process of doing a common law name change. I have to say I have been excited and yet nervous at the same time. I find myself explaining my gender identity to people I have known and done business with for many years. So far this has been a very positive experience for me and perhaps the most exciting and fulfilling time of my life.

So far everyone has been respectful of my transition. Several have congratulated me on my decision to be me. My insurance agent said "you lived the first half of your life in hell, now it is time you live your life as the person you were meant to be, congratulations." I just can't get over the overwhelming support people are showing me, whether they be a perfect stranger or someone whom has known me for many years.

I think looking back, I feel like I was my own worst enemy. I was SO afraid many were going to reject me for making the choice I made. In reality, this was not a choice at all, I could no longer go on living the lie. Even though I had a male body, I KNEW I was a female inside. For so many years I let fear rule the coarse of my life. Sometimes I ask myself, Is it my fear, or is it that society is finally coming around to accepting us for who we are? Maybe a little of both?

The thing I am realizing most right now, is coming out is truly a liberating experience. I am now experiencing a true peace like I have never experienced before in my life. My biggest regret is that I didn't do this many years ago. I feel like I am now being rewarded for waiting, as long as I did, I have full sole custody of my 2 boys and they are fully accepting of my transition. What more could a person ask for.