Transexualism Explained

This is my little way of explaining my transexualism. I usually say this to a "normal" genetic female who is comfortable with her gender, but it also works on "normal" genetic males also.

I take it you are comfortable with your gender, and wait till I get a response of "yes". Now imagine looking at your body and it is a very masculine male body, you have no breasts, you have a penis between your legs, but you are the same woman you always knew yourself to be, how would you feel? Now if that isn't bad enough, now imagine society expected to dress as a male, act as a male, take on the male role, use the men’s restrooms, how would you feel?

If you didn't live up to societies expectations, you would be subjected to discrimination and ridicule. You could be denied employment, be fired from your job, loose your housing, denied appropriate health care and appropriate insurance coverage, beaten up or even murdered, how would you feel?

If that isn't bad enough you have no ability to bear children. If you have children as a male you could loose custody and or visitation of your children. If you transition after being married most likely your spouse would divorce you, normal relationships would be extremely hard to find. How would you feel?

Overwhelmingly, the response I get is "I could not imagine". People in general have no clue of what transexuals have to deal with on a day in and day out basis. They just can't imagine...

Transgender Murder, Safety and Dating

I really hate saying this, but it needs to be said...

There are many young transgender women who are not careful about dating guys. They think that because they are young, pretty and passable they are free to date as they wish. The truth of the matter is, we have to be concerned with our safety the same as any other woman and even more. Even genetic women have to be concerned with being raped, assaulted and becoming victims of domestic violence.

As a transgender woman things can become even more riskier, especially if we are pre or non-op. If we are found out men can get very upset, angry and often very violent. No man likes being lied to, but even worse the "thought" they have had sex with a person of the "same sex" and committed a "homosexual act" can drive them to become very angry and often resulting in brutal assault and even murder. Such is the case in the murder of Angie Zapata.

All the hate crimes legislation in the world will do little to help us in this type of situation. I feel that many transgender murders could be prevented if only they had been upfront about their gender and screened their dates a little bit better. Does this justify these gruesome murders, positively not, but it is a very sad reality that may very well have been prevented with a bit more caution and honesty.

As a transexual woman I get many requests for dates. Many of these hits are online and through social networking sites such as myspace and facebook. Even though my profiles are as transgender oriented, I get many hits from very straight men. My very first reply to any person who hits on me is "I am a male to female transexual woman and give a brief description of myself. This way no one can say I lied to them or deceived them about my gender. Usually the response back is a quick no thank you or no response at all.

As much as we all like to go "stealth", I feel it is very important to be upfront about our transgender status. We need to be just as cautious as any other genetic woman and even more. Lastly, we need to screen our dates and know who we are dating.